[Sometimes the only escape from absurd reality is satire]

From: Reprinted from Our Home Town Gazette, via www.house.gov
Date: July 12, 2004

"U.S. Rep. Tom Feeney (R-FL) recently announced the “Reaffirmation of American Independence Resolution.” This resolution, which is also being co-sponsored by U.S. Rep. Bob Goodlatte (R-VA), affirms the Sense of Congress that judicial decisions should not be based on any foreign laws, court decisions, or pronouncements of foreign governments unless they are expressly approved by Congress.

America’s sovereignty and the integrity of our legal process are threatened by a jurisprudence predicated upon laws and judicial decisions alien to our Constitution and our system of self-government. The American people have not consented to being ruled by foreign powers or tribunals, and their elected representatives have an obligation to ensure that America’s courts do not impose this rule upon them. If you are concerned about judicial reliance on foreign laws or judgments, please become an original cosponsor of the "Reaffirmation of American Independence Resolution" (the Feeney/ Goodlatte Resolution). This resolution affirms the sense of Congress that judicial decisions should not be based on any foreign laws, court decisions, or pronouncements of foreign governments unless they are expressly approved by Congress."

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To:Our Home Town Gazette
From: A Friend
Date: July 19, 2004

Thank you last week's report on a very shameful practice of the United States Supreme Court. Fortunately, a patriotic Representative from Florida, Tom Feeney, just sponsored a new resolution warning the Supreme Court about falling prey to undue alien influence. Such influence must be declared an impeachable offense- or at least cause to revoke citizenship and send the judge packing back to where he came from.

But Representative Feeney- a modern day Paul Revere- is too modest a man. For the problem he is stamping out in Washington lurks quietly in every town and hamlet- and is just as great a stain on this great nation as on our highest court.

Why, just yesterday I was waiting in the examination room for my doctor to help cure a nagging cough, and noticed a copy of the Hippocratic Oath on the wall. Now, it appears an American doctor must take this oath to practice medicine. Imagine that- an American citizen subject to a Greek oath- and I bet Hippocrates never even set foot on American soil!

We don’t need any foreign advice over how much harm my doctor should or should not do. We can do as much harm as we please without any meddling by a doctor who never graduated from an American medical school.

When the doctor arrived with a bottle of penicillin, he laughed off my concern that he was really an agent of a foreign state- despite the damning evidence on his own office walls. In fact, he told me the penicillin in the bottle was discovered by a Brit- some Alexander Fleming- and that we were all better off learning from each other's experience.

Now I have nothing against the British- they speak our language, after all- but we don’t need them dictating how to cure an honest American disease, caught right here in the U.S. of A.

American drugs for American diseases, I always say.

So I left the office, and decided to walk off the infection by taking a quick stroll through our town park. Across the park sits our town hall. Huge cranes were digging up the sidewalk to create a tasteful moat around the building- our town has only has 500 residents- but you can’t be too cautious about potential suicide attacks from foreigners with strange ideas.

Anyway, as I looked up at the town hall- made of good sturdy American granite, mind you, I noticed these words etch in stone: “Thou Shalt Not Covet” and “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.” That’s strange, I thought. Why half of our economy is based on coveting what our neighbor has, and the other half swears when they don’t get what they covet. Seemed downright un-American, especially on a town hall. But then I noticed these Commandments came from an ancient text called the Bible. And the Bible- get this- isn’t even an American book! In fact, it was written by those same foreigners who are now the sworn enemy of the United States. Such is the extent of their perfidy, and that’s why we need more laws and more Representatives like Mr. Feeney.

Yours respectfully,

A friend